In Pursuit of Healing – Survive Stress

Imagine, if you will, being in the middle of a stressful situation and remaining calm, unaffected by the chaos surrounding you. You cannot avoid stress in your life, but you can learn how to deal with it.

For optimum results, listen to only one topic of the “In Pursuit of Healing” MP3’s for a minimum of 21 consecutive days as follows:

  • Morning Meditation – Listen when you wake in the morning and before you get out of bed to begin your day
  • Daytime Affirmation – At any time during the day, play the MP3 in the background of your daily life (concentration is not required)
  • Bedtime Hypnosis Meditation – Listen when you retire to bed, you will likely fall into a very deep sleep
  • Some people find the program works better when they dedicate a full 30 days/nights (or longer) listening to the positive reinforcement in the MP3’s. At this time, all MP3’s are offered here on the Rising Peacefully blog at no-charge in hopes to help people through these hard times we are currently experiencing with COVID. These MP3’s will be posted regularly.

    Please feel free to email Kathryn@journeytofreedom.ca with any question you may have.

    Enjoy!

    “If you think you can, you can. If you think you can’t, you can’t. Either way you are right.” ~Henry Ford

    Morning Meditation

    Daytime Affirmations

    Bedtime Meditation

    In Pursuit of Healing

    Did you know 90% of your life is controlled by your subconscious mind? Your subconscious mind contains your belief system. Your belief system is the sum of your life experiences since birth. Does your life ever seem out of control? That is your subconscious mind working against you (but thinking it is protecting you from harm). The bad news is, you might never know what beliefs are working against you. The good news is, positive hypnosis can help reprogram hidden beliefs using repetitive, positive reinforcement!

    The “In Pursuit of Healing” MP3’s have the potential to reprogram your subconscious mind with positive, life altering beliefs. For each individual topic, you have three different listening options of Morning Meditations, Daytime Affirmations and Bedtime Hypnosis Meditations.
    For optimum results, listen to only one topic of the “In Pursuit of Healing” MP3’s for a minimum of 21 consecutive days as follows:

  • Morning Meditations – Listen when you wake in the morning and before you get out of bed to begin your day
    Daytime Affirmations – At any time during the day, play the MP3 in the background of your daily life (concentration is not required)
    Bedtime Hypnosis Meditations – Listen when you retire to bed, you will likely fall into a very deep sleep
  • Some people find the program works better when they dedicate a full 30 days/nights (or longer) listening to the MP3’s for positive reinforcement.

    At this time, all MP3’s are offered here on the Rising Peacefully blog at no-charge in hopes to help people through these hard times we are currently experiencing with COVID. These MP3’s will be posted regularly.

    Please feel free to email Kathryn@journeytofreedom.ca

    Do It Your Way

    Are you bombarded with thoughts of, “I should”? Let me shine some light on what the “shoulds” in your life actually represent. Once again, it is a habit of your internal Chatterbox putting you down. It is constantly chattering to you about what you “should” do. It is created through others expectations. Yes, that’s what I said, “Other’s expectations of what THEY think YOU should do!”

    It is your mind working against you. You somehow own obligations to do something you feel you SHOULD do. For instance, perhaps you believe you should go to work everyday. The truth is, you have choices. Each and every choice will cause you to take some form of action. Your actions with then provide you with natural rewards or consequences. For example:

    (1) You could go to work. If you go to work faithfully you gain just rewards. You earn an income to pay for all of your living expenses.

    (2) You could stay home. If you stay home on a regular basis you just might end up in the unemployment line leading to a life of financial hardship.

    The point I am trying to make is your consistent behaviour, based on shoulds, can actually create an unhappy life. While it can keep you safe in your comfort zone, it can become a habitual response in conforming to others expectations.

    For example, lets say you have a very controlling mother (or father, or any other person in your life) that expects you to phone every week without fail. Every time, after talking to that person, you get off the phone feeling down about your life. Otherwise, you are very content and happy about your chosen life style.

    However, you know this weekly phone call is expected, therefore your chatterbox peeps up saying, “I should phone that person.”

    Although it may not feel like it, you do have choices here:

    (1) You can choose to phone
    (2) You can choose NOT to phone

    If you do phone that person you might get quizzed on what you are doing with your life. You might get constantly nagged to do better in your life, according to that persons expectations for you. This may prove to diminish your feelings of worthiness, as shaming often does. This scenario is a common shaming tactic used by many well-meaning people.

    If you don’t make that phone call there will be repercussions to pay somewhere in the future. Can you handle the backlash? If not, give some serious thought to dedicating yourself to some personal growth programs!

    The truth is, you could easily make that phone call. It is likely the easiest solution in the short run; the path of least resistance. Is this the way you want to live your life? Choosing the path of least resistance? Eventually it will likely lead you down the wrong road.

    I believe you will be happier doing what YOU want to do. Living your life YOUR way. Making your decisions based on your wants! Of course you will experience resistance from some people in your life.

    Having said all of this, some may argue with me. Please understand, what I am suggesting here is creating happiness in your life. Living your life, your way. Finding a way to twist this article around to follow a path of self-destruction is certainly another issue and would be taking this suggestion way out of context.

    To improve yourself and your life for the better may I suggest:
    (1) You acknowledge the shoulds in your life
    (2) Then ask yourself, “What do I really want?”

    If you can find the strength to follow your desires, wants and wishes all the people in your life that truly matter will have no choice but to accept you for those choices.

    I wish for you the life of your dreams!

    Beware of the Universal Law of Attraction

    I personally believe in the unlimited possibilities of Universal Law of Attraction. Through my research I have discovered much of our greatest inventors in history used this law to their benefit. How did they do that?

    It is my understanding that utilizing this Universal Law of Attraction to the best of its ability involves the following process:

    (1) Thought/Idea
    (2) Dream
    (3) Goals
    (4) Affirmations
    (5) Visualize
    (6) Plan
    (7) Action

    I believe the first step to create anything into your life begins with a mere thought or idea. If you like the idea enough you may decide to own it as your dream. A dream is just a dream without creating some goals to make it a reality. While not a necessity, creating affirmations and visualizing are powerful tools to aid in the achievement of your dream. Pulling all of this together into a plan helps you take the action required to make your dream a reality.

    However, reader beware! Much of what is being taught today on this subject is unrealistic. The true dangers of this Universal Law lies in the interpretation. While you can easily manifest things into your life, the question remains, “Is it sustainable?”

    Now lets say your belief in the Universal Law of Attraction ignites within you a dream to live in a spacious, beautiful home full of pleasant furnishings, complete with all the latest appliances. You dream it, you believe it and you decide you will go for it. You then manage to finance a mortgage complete with new household furnishings and appliances. In fact, during the process you also decide to reach for the stars and finance a new vehicle. Life looks great, you have it all. Or do you? What happens after you complete the financing? You are left with huge debts to repay. Not only could this cause a great deal of strain on your income but it can easily become unsustainable if life throws lemons your way. No one plans on unemployment, illness, divorce, death or many other unfortunate situations.

    I suggest keeping yourself grounded while applying the Universal Law of Attraction to chase your dream. Please understand, I am in no way suggesting you not follow your dreams. I am an achiever believing you can achieve anything you dream. I know this to be true because I have created a new life for myself against all odds.

    What I am suggesting is to take one step at a time. If you have a dream to shoot for the stars, go for it. Just don’t overshoot in a rush to get there. The pursuit of all dreams requires patience, persistence, determination, faith and courage.

    The dream of living in a spacious, beautiful home full of pleasant furnishings, complete with all the latest appliances is attainable to anyone willing to pay the price. Life is all about choices. Choosing the easy route by financing your entire dream life can cause it to come crashing down around you when you least expect it. Defining clear goals, while taking all necessary action towards your dream, may take some time to achieve your dream but achieve you will. Once achieved it can be yours for the keeping, not for the creditors to repossess.

    One step at a time.
    One day at a time.
    Believe and you can achieve!

    Positive Affirmations Help Create a New Life

    Affirmations can be used to create a continuous flow of positive thoughts into your subconscious mind, thereby, helping you create a new life. From the time you wake in the morning your mind is on constant chatter with thousands of thoughts, all day long. Did you know your thoughts are on automatic pilot? You might be interested to learn most of these automatic thoughts are totally ignored by your conscious mind.

    These thoughts, which I prefer to label as your “Chatterbox”, are most likely negative in nature, compliments of your childhood experiences. The negative Chatterbox was birthed through well-meaning adults trying to conform you into the little person they wanted you to become. Unfortunately, most baby boomers were programmed through unhealthy tactics such as shaming, belittling, anger and/or corporal punishment. In short, we learned to live in our own private world that involved beating up on ourselves, using thousands of negative thoughts per day.

    To make matters worse, it is said, “What we think about we bring about.” Look around your life right now. What you see is what you have created through the power of thought. You might like what you see ~ you might not. If your life is not what you want, if there is room for improvement, if you want to create change, please read on…

    You possess the power to reprogram your negative Chatterbox making it your best possible ally. One such tool for change is creating positive affirmations. First, you have to figure out what it is you do want. What is the change you want to see in your life? Perhaps you want more money to get out of debt. Would you like to get a better job? Maybe you are unemployed wishing for a job, period. Does your heart yearn for a loving partner to share your life with? To improve your life you must at least have a good idea of what you want to change. Take some time to create a wish list for your life.

    With your “wish list” in hand, you can now begin to create some affirmations. Let’s say you want more money to get out debt. Your first thought for an affirmation might be, “I want to get out of debt.” Let’s review this statement:

    – “I want” will keep your life in the state of wanting
    – “get out of debt” will keep your mind focused on debt, thereby, not creating a life free of debt

    One possible positive affirmation for wanting more money to get out of debt would be, “I am so happy and grateful to be living a life full of financial abundance.” Let’s review this statement:

    – “I am” a strong statement for the most powerful self to emerge
    – “so happy” will attach a positive emotion
    – “and grateful” expressing your gratitude is important
    – “to be living” states the affirmation in present tense (as if you are living it NOW)
    – “a life full of financial abundance” states the goal you want to achieve

    Affirmations are of no use unless you use them as a daily tool as follows:

    1. Write/type the affirmations on paper or index cards
    2. Post them around your home, in your vehicle and/or around your work space
    3. Speak your affirmations (aloud if possible) every morning upon waking
    4. Take your time, concentrate on the words of the affirmations
    5. Feel the emotion of having already achieved your affirmations
    6. It is useful to look in the mirror while speaking your affirmations
    7. Smile and feel good about the affirmations
    8. Speak your affirmations (aloud if possible) every night before going to sleep
    9. During the day, replace your negative thoughts with one of your positive affirmations
    10. Be patient, it takes time ~ repeat, repeat, repeat your affirmations day in and day out

    Taking the time to create, and properly use, positive affirmations can literally change your life!

    Dreaming One Step at a Time

    I truly believe a life without dreams is a life without hope. Hope for a little something in your life, or hope for an exciting future all begins with an idea. Ideas and dreams require you to take action if it is to become a reality in your life.

    The question is, “How do you do that?”

    Lets begin by putting your dream in writing. Write it down on a piece of paper. For example, “My dream is to attend University next year.”

    The second step is take one small step towards that goal. What can you do right now to make your dream a reality? Now, if you do nothing towards reaching that dream, what are the chances of it becoming a reality? The answer is simple, “You have no chance of making any dream a reality without taking some sort of action towards it.” Dreaming without action is futile. Dreaming without action leaves you with just a dream.

    However, dreaming partnered with action can lead you success. Your choice, your way!

    Most people don’t even begin to chase their dream because of pessimistic attitude. Learn to become an optimist. Don’t let your end goal overwhelm you with impossibility. For instance, perhaps you already perceive a hurdle of not having enough money to attend University. At this early point in your goals try to ignore that.

    For a moment try to imagine the great inventors of our history looking at the end goal and becoming overwhelmed. Where would we be today if Thomas Edison took his ingenious goal of inventing electricity and let it overwhelm him with impossibilities?

    Take on an optimistic attitude. Take one baby step at a time. Baby steps lead to steps, steps lead to strides and strides lead to goal accomplishment. The question to ask yourself is, “What is one small step I can take right here, right now, to help make my dream a reality?” It is important to take that first step because it will lead you to the next step, then to the next step, then to the next step until it is accomplished.

    Start where you are right now. Just begin and each step will lead you closer to your dream goal. Of course you might encounter obstacles. You can conquer each obstacle placed in your path with enough determination to reach your dream goal.

    The truth is, in the end it all boils down to just one thing, “How much do you want to achieve your dream goal?”

    Take that first step to move from dreamer to achiever today…

    …make a commitment to your dream…
    …be determined to achieve that dream…
    …greet each obstacle with faith and keep moving forward…
    …refuse to be defeated…
    …and NEVER, ever give up!

    What are you willing to do to accomplish your dream goal?

    Here is a summary formula to attain your dream goal(s):

    #1 – Your DREAM begins with an idea

    #2 – Set your first GOAL to begin right now

    #3 – Take one STEP at a time

    #4 – ACCOMPLISH your final dream goal

    Your Chatterbox

    Are you familiar with your inner voice? That voice in your head I have nicknamed the Chatterbox. If you have an unhealthy self-esteem this Chatterbox can be a vicious bully causing devastating effects in your life.

    Let’s take a bit of time to ask yourself a few questions:

    Do you blame yourself for things that go wrong?
    Do you judge yourself based on what others are thinking of you?
    Do you think others do not like you?
    Do you think others are laughing at you?
    Do you feel others are always judging you?
    Do you beat yourself when you make a mistake?
    Do you keep a memorized list of your failures?
    Do you often call yourself names? (ugly, fat, stupid, weak, incompetent, etc.)
    Do you always strive to be best?
    Do you feel like a failure if you can’t be the best?
    Do you exaggerate your weaknesses?
    Do you often want to hide and disappear at social gatherings?
    Do you believe your Chatterbox speaks the truth to you?
    If you answered yes to most of these questions, your Chatterbox can be compared to a psychological assassin attacking you at every angle.

    How do I know this? Sadly, in the days of my youth, paranoia consumed my every waking moment. I believed people were always looking to find fault with me so they could laugh, judge and make fun of me. My stress level was on a constant high causing me to remain in a continuous state of alert. I was always on guard about what I said or did, everyday, in every way. To make matters worse my phobia was often taken out of context. Many people would read me as being a snob or conceited; how far from the truth they were!

    A negative Chatterbox can creates within you many coping skills. Here are some examples (not a complete list of possible coping skills):

    (1) Perfectionism
    As long as you are striving for the impossible, you are not feeling inadequate or hopeless.

    (2) Fear of Failure
    Creates within you a fear of change, thereby, keeping you in your comfort zone.

    (3) Fear of Rejection
    Self criticism helps desensitize you to what others may think of you.

    (4) Anger
    Turned within, instead of outwards, temporarily decreases your anxiety level by creating undeserved guilt.

    The very first step to improving your Chatterbox is simply becoming aware of it’s existence. Start today to actively listen to the negative chatter. The next step is to begin challenging that chatter with positive, reinforcing statements. You must get assertive and sometimes aggressive with yourself.

    Unfortunately, challenging your negative Chatterbox can create within you an internal war. Being at war with yourself can be a very disturbing. However, forewarned is forearmed. Any personal growth I experienced throughout my life has been challenging and well worth the effort.

    Most of us do not like change, especially when your Chatterbox begins to work overtime warning you to remain in your comfort zone. To conquer your Chatterbox you must want to change for you, not for anyone else. It can become an exercise of courage to look in the mirror allowing yourself to see the truth of what you do NOT like, but more importantly, what you DO like.

    Your Chatterbox has spent an entire lifetime filling your head with all your flaws. The truth is, we all have flaws, learn to accept that. The good news is, you have many other good to great personality traits, and talents, just waiting to be discovered. Take the time to discover the positive you, using it as a tool to gain confidence in yourself. This exercise alone will begin to increase your self-worth one step at a time.

    Discovering Blackmail

    Blackmail may be viewed as harsh. Perhaps the term “manipulation” is a gentler or kinder word to describe abusive type personalities that tend to manage (control), or alter, the beliefs of their target. Some would argue the similarities, or the differences, but that is not the issue of this article.

    Blackmail is used to gain power and control over a target. It usually includes, but is not limited to, the practice of bullying. They will stop at nothing to get their own way. They have but one agenda, “WIN at all costs”.

    Targets of blackmail will go against their instincts, continually question their own thoughts, wonder if they are crazy, become easily confused during a confrontation and eventually, over time, become programmed to cave to the demands of their abuser. They become so fearful of the consequences hovering on the horizon, they will do anything to stop the eruption of aggressor. You might wonder how one can gain such control over another.

    Getting stuck in this vicious cycle is quite confusing, that is, until you discover the secrets.

    (1) The blackmailer demands something from the target
    (2) The target might refuse
    (3) The blackmailer begins to play “the game”
    (4) The blackmailer cunningly twists reality, placing blame on the target
    (5) The target accepts the blame and begins to feel guilty
    (6) The blackmailer side steps responsibility
    (7) The target begins to accept responsibility
    (8) The blackmailer threatens the target with consequences
    (9) The target is now burdened with fear on top of blame, guilt and responsibility
    (10) The target caves, giving into the demands
    (11) The blackmailer wins the battle
    (12) The target didn’t even know there was a battle
    (13) The blackmailer files this experience in his/her back pocket
    (14) The blackmailer repeats a similar cycle when necessary
    (15) The target soon becomes programmed to respond through fear

    It is difficult to break free from this vicious cycle. Becoming aware of the agenda is the first step into healing.

    When I first discovered this cycle, I often wondered why.

    Why would anyone want to act this way?
    Why would someone want to use such power over another?
    Why would anyone want to inflict such pain?
    The answer does not seem to be simple. I am not a professional psychologist or psychiatrist. However, from my research, I discovered the person inflicting the pain is often not consciously aware of their actions.

    It is usually a learned behaviour from childhood.

    They too, had terrible pain inflicted upon them
    They too, felt the fear of such control
    They too, were bullied into compliance
    In short, fear is fueling their actions and controlling their life.

    They are consumed with fear.

    Fear of pain – someone might hurt them
    Fear of lack – someone might take from them
    Fear of security – their needs might not be met
    Fear, fear, fear!
    For me, I had a desire to heal from the destruction. Part of the healing included releasing the pain, forgiving the abuser and finally looking at him in a new light.

    “Compassion for the child that suffered those childhood experiences. Perhaps it was pain that created this man.”

    Happiness Sometimes Requires Change

    After leaving my now ex-husband the sudden realization hit me that he would have happily remained in our marriage regardless of the unhappiness we were living. Why? To resist change!

    In my opinion, it is not enough to love someone, you must be happy with that relationship. Putting family aside, the one most important thing in my life is to be happy. I believe that happiness comes from within. It is not measured through your finances, from your possessions, from your friends, from your partner or from anything in your world. It is a state of mind. It can be grown from your thoughts of worthiness, gratefulness, harmony and joy.

    It took a great deal of courage for me to look at my marriage many years ago and admit it was dysfunctional. For too many years the truth was cloaked. This eventually took a toll on my health and I was forced to face the issue. Life has a way of doing that.

    My healing began the day I dared to step out of my comfort zone. Yes, it was scary. Yes, it was extremely uncomfortable. It was at a time in my life where the pain had become greater than the gain. Change became the name of the game lest I fall into a permanent victim mode mentality.

    Reaching out and dedicating my life to personal growth was the beginning of the end of my marriage. Did I know that then? No, absolutely not! I was searching for happiness and had no idea what the future held. Setting my sights on healing I took one baby step at a time. It took years for me to discover the ugly truth.

    I had a goal to become whole. I wanted to be happy. It is said, “When the student is ready, the teacher appears.” Doors were opening for me with my eagerness to learn. I soon discovered that my happiness must be partnered with love and harmony. How can one find happiness from within when they are surrounded in negativity? One day at a time, my healing felt like the sun rise breaking through the fog. When the fog finally lifted, the cold, hard truth of my partner was shocking. In my opinion, he was abusive using power, manipulation and control against me.

    With help, I began to see I deserved better. The more I healed, the more I disliked my life. Eventually I totally and completely fell out of love with my partner. Taking inventory of my options, it became obvious the only way out was change and it did not come easy! In my opinion, change requires you to think out of the box.

    The first step to change is deciding what you want. What is it you want? Everyone wants to be happy. The next question is, “How will you get there?” The answer will likely always boil down to one thing, “CHANGE!”

    The next step is facing your fears. Eleanor Roosevelt said it well, “We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face… we must do that which we think we cannot.”

    Change is not easy. You must be willing to let go of the old…it’s the only way to allow the new to enter!

    Break Out of Your Comfort Zone

    COMFORT ZONE… When you find yourself stuck in your current reality by believing your internal self-critic chatter. Chatter that fuels your self-doubt, floods you with undeserved guilt and literally sucks the life out of you by making you believe all the negative chatter is real.

    Do you want to break out of this self-imposed prison? Read on…

    Where did this self-critic come from? Most of it birthed throughout your childhood years. Did you know your life experiences actually define who you are and who you become? That is, until, you realize you can change your current reality by changing your belief system.

    The question then becomes, “How can you change your beliefs?”

    (1) Become aware of your self-critic.
    (2) Challenge that critic.

    How can you challenge your critic? Begin by attentively listening to it. When you do this you will likely be shocked! Where does all that negative chatter come from? The truth is it was created by well-meaning mentors over the course of your life.

    …People in your life that cared about you.
    …People that believed you would be a better person if you changed to their way of thinking.
    …People in your life that wanted to control you so you would do it their way.

    The majority of these people did with the best of intent. Most likely, they were people you loved. They were your role models taking care of you. Most of them cared deeply for you. They only did what they felt was in your best interest. They had no idea what type of destruction they were creating within you.

    Try thinking back to your childhood. Can you think of an incident that created just one of your long-held beliefs?

    I can still hear my Dad saying, “Money doesn’t grow on trees.” My parents worked extremely hard all their life while my father used his intelligence to create a wealthy financial nest egg for their retirement. As children, me and my siblings were taught to work hard, very hard. The theory was, if one needed money work for it. Work, work, work and then work some more.

    Can you imagine what this one seed planted in our heads created? My beloved older brother dropped dead from congestive heart failure at the age of thirty-nine. I worked myself into emotional exhaustion by the same age!

    I have since learned that life is not all about work. I now believe it is important to balance your life between work, rest and play. Taking it one step further, I spent years researching successful people. Armed with this new knowledge I now believe you owe it to yourself to follow your heart…it leads you to your destiny.

    Honor your calling, everybody has one. Trust your heart and success will come to you. My journey of changing my belief system of work and money did not happen overnight. It first lead me into the experience of living in poverty. I treasure that experience because of what it taught me.

    …It humbled me.
    …It gave me strength.
    …It blessed me with the will to change.
    …It taught me perseverance and determination – giving up was not an option.
    …It created within me a desire to succeed.
    …It brought me lessons of equality, worthiness and compassion.

    Yes, the first step to changing your beliefs is to change your thought patterns. This is the secret ingredient to challenging your self-critic.